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Post by LILYANNA MARIE DAWSON on Mar 11, 2010 20:41:40 GMT -5
WERE I NOT SO WEAK, COULD I EVEN SPEAK? [/color][/font] i warn that you should leave[/size][/font] BEFORE YOU'RE SEEN WITH ME[/font][/color] How could he do that to her? Granted they had only spent a small amount of time together, but Faollen had made it clear that he had feelings for her. He gave her a bracelet made with his own hands, and told her she was so many beautiful things. And now, he was pushing her away for her protection. Lilyanna didn’t mind that Faollen wanted to protect her, but he wasn’t even going to try and meet with her again. After all that he just wanted to end it?! For the first time Lilyanna had felt happy and had the potential to have someone to love and love her in return. Then Faollen threw it back in her face.
After watching him storm off, she couldn’t help but feel distraught. Tears fell down her face as she took off back towards the tree. Slipping through, she re-emerged in Ashling, tears still staining her cheeks. Lily found a place against the tree, falling to the ground as she began to sob. Pulling her knees to her chest, she wrapped her arms around her knees. Her brown eyes spotted the bracelet around her wrist, and it only brought the image of Faollen’s face to her mind, making more tears and sobs.
Was this what it felt like to be rejected? To have ever single part of you ripped to pieces? To have a hole left inside you? God and he kissed her! The first kiss of her life and it was from Faollen… She sad, angry, and still crazy about Faollen. No boy in her life had ever taken an interest in Lily, and for the first time someone had found her beautiful. Well, Faollen was a boy but a demon that was from Reena, and she knew that it was probably a dangerous thing to fall in love with a boy that wasn’t human or from Ashling, but he had been so kind to her. He called her a porcelain doll… No one had ever called her anything like that.
She examined the bracelet again, gently tracing the lines of the shells and the glass laced along the string. Even in the glass, she could still see Faollen’s face reflecting in the glass. Everything for Lilyanna had just come crashing down in a brief moment. A sigh slipped from her lips, the sobs having grown quite but the water works were still flowing down her face. Although he had told her stay away from the carnival, she wouldn’t do that. She had to see him, at least once more to say a proper goodbye, so that way it would be so hard on her at least. Although, inside that would probably be harder than what was going on right now.
Just once more, Lilyanna just needed to see him once more just to say goodbye. What would she say? What would she do? What would Faollen say or do? Would he be angry with her, or happy to see her, even if it was for possibly the last time? Either way, Lily didn’t want to end things on such cold terms. It would haunt her to know that things were rocky between them. When the next showing of the carnival came to town, or if the show was going to be performed, Lilyanna would be there. However, she wasn’t going to watch the show, rather she was going to be sneaking around and looking for a way to find just where Faollen might be hiding. Just once more… “I just need to see him one more time, that’s all…” she murmured as she stared at the bracelet around her wrist.
tag: momma fortuna - haley words: 609 muse: afi - to shy to scream notes: so heartbroken[/font][/center]
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Post by MOMMA FORTUNA on Mar 11, 2010 21:40:10 GMT -5
FEEL THE SHADOW of my oblivion, hoping mery would show her face on the road to your own perdition in the
COAL BLACKENED RAIN
----------------------------------------------------------- One may assume that hearing and viewing such annoying and pesky emotions come from your property would be agitating beyond belief. One may assume that in seeing such things one would view would cause some resentment and plotting against the one who had caused the stir in your loyal group. Ah, but those were nothing but simple assumptions. Her sweet demon had wanted to have a fresh heart? Well then he would get his fresh heart. Of course, that heart would have to be willing to a pay a price for her demon. Momma Fortuna would not let go of what she had ownership over. It would have to be pried away from her cold, lifeless hands. But she could compromise so long as it came out to benefit her as well. Perhaps that was why she was not fluster at what she had seen on the shore. Her magic hadn’t spiked up and craved to pull in Faollen to remind him of his loyalties. Surprisingly, she had just grinned as she watched the kiss and then watched the cat interrupt. Her mind had been patient for Momma was not one to jump to conclusions. Her mind calculated the opportunities in this. This young human girl would through herself after Faollen if given the opportunity. If she could be given Faollen’s attention every day, Momma was sure she would take it. It was obvious that she was infatuated. Even the demon had taken a liking to the girl that was something Momma was sure of as well. Faollen wouldn’t like this, would he? The witch who conjured him meddling with something he thought she knew nothing of. The thought made her grin madly.
She had watched the girl and carefully followed her from the cliffs above the shore. Once she had disappeared into the cave in the cliffs, Momma finally followed her down. Once she was situated on the sandy ground she shuffled up to the cave and peered inside of it. It was just as it always was. When she placed her old, frail looking hands against each side of it she could feel the magical power coursing through the veins. Ah, the magic was strong here. It pounded in her head and made her nails grip the hard stone as she tried to suck in a bit of the power for herself. This place … it always managed to make her feel so much stronger. It made her feel so full of life. She closed her eyes a moment and then stepped through.
As soon as she came to the other side she could hear the young girls sobbing and then silence followed by some quiet words. A sly grin crossed her old lips now and she made her appearance while saying gently, “Only one last time?” The old witch carefully stepped from the roots of the tree and then dropped next to Lilyanna, squatting before her. The many materials that were draped over her fell across the roots and greenery beneath her disappearing into long skirts and awkward sashes and things. Then she held up a crooked finger. “My dear, my dear, one more will not do lest you want to drive my demon to the brink of insanity. Then I would have to hunt you down and bring you to him myself. He has been longing for a fresh heart…”
----------------------------------------------------------- tagged: lilyanna marie dawson song: damned and divine by tarja words: five hundred sixty-four notes: i keep thinking of the song from quest for camelot..
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Post by LILYANNA MARIE DAWSON on Mar 11, 2010 22:24:58 GMT -5
WERE I NOT SO WEAK, COULD I EVEN SPEAK? [/color][/font] i warn that you should leave[/size][/font] BEFORE YOU'RE SEEN WITH ME[/font][/color] Her vision was blurred by her tears, but still able to see the shimmering glass within the bracelet. She sighed, feeling the hole in her chest getting bigger the more time she spent away from Faollen. Just why would he be so cold towards her when she was going to leave? At least he could have tried to offer seeing her again or see her more, but no, he didn’t eve do that.
“Only one last time?”
Her head quickly turned, eyes spotting the old lady, who was quite scary really. Lily cringed away from the old woman as she crouched down to be eye level with her. Just where did she come from? How did she know that Lily was here or what she was even talking about? Swallowing hard, she examined the woman, trying not to stare but it was hard not to. As the old lady raised a finger, Lily flinched, afraid that she might hurt her.
“My dear, my dear, one more will not do lest you want to drive my demon to the brink of insanity. Then I would have to hunt you down and bring you to him myself. He has been longing for a fresh heart…”
At first Lily didn’t know what to say. Had she seen her and Faollen together? Was this the infamous Momma that the talking cat kept mentioning? Lily could only assume so, but what was she doing here bothering her? Surely if Faollen was in so much trouble then this woman would have taken it out on him rather than be here. Well, that’s what the talking cat made it sound like anyways. Yet the old lady was here, telling Lily that she also was apparently on thin ice as well. Oh, if Lilyanna knew just what this woman was capable of she would be running for the hills, or at least some place public to expose her, but in this forest it would take too long.
“A-a fresh heart?” she asked a little nervous. Her hands quickly covered her chest, right where her heart was lying. “W-what are you doing here? What do you want?” God if Lily wasn’t so freaked out right now she would call her words cliché, but she didn’t know what else to say. There was a scary old lady standing in front her, seeming to fuss at her for having a tumble in the grass with Faollen. She didn’t mean to fall head over heels for him, but he was just so gorgeous and he told her such sweet things, words that had never graced her ears before. However, she had to focus her attention on the woman before her, something seeming wrong about this whole encounter. Lily couldn’t place what it was, but it made her uncomfortable, making her skin crawl and heart pound in fear. Whether she liked it or not, this was most likely going to end badly for her.
tag: momma fortuna - haley words: 491 - ew... muse: afi - it was mine notes: this can't be good[/font][/center]
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Post by MOMMA FORTUNA on Mar 11, 2010 23:13:11 GMT -5
FEEL THE SHADOW of my oblivion, hoping mery would show her face on the road to your own perdition in the
COAL BLACKENED RAIN
----------------------------------------------------------- Momma chuckled softly at the girl’s stuttered sentences. Then her face turned serious as she quickly leaned forward snapping out at her. “Of course a fresh heart! What had you thought I said?” Almost as quickly as it had faded the smile returned to her face. She leaned back again so that she could have all of her weight once again centered over her feet. She placed her hands on each of her boney knees, rocking lightly a moment until she regained her full balance. “Oh, this bones are not what they used to be, oh no, no, no.” The woman had been watching her knees for a few moments, as though concentrating on something. Then she turned her two differently colored eyes back up the girl sitting just in front of her. Her ancient lips were still pressed into a pleasant smile. Of course, anyone who happened to look like Momma probably really did not have the easiest of times looking like a trusting person. What with the wrinkles and the crazy teeth, esh, her life was just made to be difficult that way. But she made the best of it obviously. As crazy as she looked… people still seemed to come to her, yes? To see her cages filled with magic.
The old woman cleared the phlegm as delicately as possible from her throat and then narrowed her eyes on the girl, inspecting her silently. Her lips curled with thought as she made her judgments and then let them pass, looking for the potential in her. She was no fool, just easy to scare, and terribly awkward with her uncertainty in herself. She had much work to put into herself if she wanted to ever be something worth someone’s while. There were special talents in her but she hadn’t given much opportunity to brag about them. Or, more like, make the time for herself to brag about them. Silly, girl, silly, silly thing.
Momma snorted, shaking her head. Then she reached out and snatched the girl’s hand up, staring at the bracelet on her wrist that had been given to her by Faollen. She tapped against the smooth accessory and looked started shaking her head again, the grin returning as she began to laugh lightly. Then the light laughter turned louder as she dropped the girl’s hand to place her own back on her knee. “Oh, sweet little human, you are not up for the task! Oh no, no, not up for the task at all, my sweet! You would crumble and break into pieces under the hardships! You would be pushed into the background; forgotten!” She continued her amused laughter as she slowly got up to her knees, achy bones stretching with the old muscle as she finally stood up to her full height again. Her laughter carried on as she pushed up the roots of the tree again, heading back toward the crevice she had appeared from only moments before. “Your heart is far too weak!” she cackled to herself.
As she approached the top of the roots, she rested her arm against the side of the hill, once again feeling the magic flowing through the place. She did not plan on going through just yet. Her temptation had not even been offered to the young woman yet! The secret temptation to have Faollen for as long as her simple little body would allow her to live. Yes, she had yet to hear what she wanted to hear. Perhaps just his name would lure her into the conversation and spark up her interest. Did she have any fire in that soul of hers? If not she would not be worth the time or effort and Momma would be sure to be sure Faollen never thought of the little wench again! But she was fair and kind, Momma was. She would give this human a chance. But only this one now.
“Only someone with a strong heart may have my son,” she cooed ever so softly. “Only the bravest of souls can explore what secrets and temptations my demon has to offer. Not a weak, pathetic soul.”
----------------------------------------------------------- tagged: lilyanna marie dawson song: damned and divine by tarja words: six hundred ninety notes: RAWR
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Post by LILYANNA MARIE DAWSON on Mar 11, 2010 23:44:19 GMT -5
WERE I NOT SO WEAK, COULD I EVEN SPEAK? [/color][/font] i warn that you should leave[/size][/font] BEFORE YOU'RE SEEN WITH ME[/font][/color] “Of course a fresh heart! What had you thought I said?”
Lily cringed away from the old lady as she spat venom at her, tightening the grip over her chest. Her heart raced even more for those few seconds the old woman scolded her. Wait, did she mean her heart? The thought of having her heart ripped from her chest brought images of Indiana Jones to her mind, her stomach churning at the thought. As much as Faollen may want a fresh heart, she could only hope that he wouldn’t want to eat hers.
It was so strange to have this woman stare at her. Well, it wasn’t staring it was more like inspecting her. What was she expecting to find? Lice? Either way, it was strange and only made her more uncomfortable. The tears on her face had finally dried, her eyes still slightly red but she wasn’t crying anymore. A gasp left her lips as the woman’s hand trapped her hand, her skin crawling at the feeling of her dry cracked skin against hers. Talk about needing some moisturizer. As she tapped the bracelet, her eyes moved to the glass, but as she began to laugh, Lily shrank back and the fear was starting to grow as her laugh echoed in the woods.
“Oh, sweet little human, you are not up for the task! Oh no, no, not up for the task at all, my sweet! You would crumble and break into pieces under the hardships! You would be pushed into the background and forgotten! Your heart is far too weak!”
“It’s not weak!” Lily shot back, a little offended at the woman’s comments. “What does it matter? I’m already in pieces and people don’t care about me anyways. I’ve always been in the background and forgotten. It’s just how I live, but it all changed when I meet Faollen. He made me feel like someone, like I was meant to be here.” It was true. No matter what Lilyanna did, it was never good enough for the people around her, except her parents. Lily was always invisible growing up and no one ever paid attention to her. Over time, she got used to it, letting people walk past her without a word or randomly bumping into her, saying that they ‘didn’t see her.’ Things hadn’t changed very much for her, except for Faollen. He saw her for what she really was, and it was something Lily had never considered before. Up until then, she saw herself as ordinary and not good enough for anyone. Well, Faollen had proven her wrong about that.
“Only someone with a strong heart may have my son. Only the bravest of souls can explore what secrets and temptations my demon has to offer. Not a weak, pathetic soul.”
Brown eyes lifted to watch the woman leave, heading back into the tree to leave. She wanted to be with Faollen, and whatever this woman was talking about, Lily was going to defend her case. “You don’t know if my soul is weak!” she said standing from the ground, taller than the old woman. “Faollen doesn’t see me as a weak soul. You don’t even know who I am or what I’m capable of. Who are you to say that I’m a weak soul? So what if I live in the background and become forgotten? I know what I’m capable of and if other people don’t see that it’s their fault. Faollen saw that in me. He knows that I’m better than what everyone else thinks.”
tag: momma fortuna - haley words: 592 muse: breaking benjamin - i will not bow notes: this can't be good[/font][/center]
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Post by MOMMA FORTUNA on Mar 12, 2010 0:23:18 GMT -5
FEEL THE SHADOW of my oblivion, hoping mery would show her face on the road to your own perdition in the
COAL BLACKENED RAIN
----------------------------------------------------------- The old lady continued grinning to herself as she heard the girl’s shouting behind her. Her eyes closed as she let her chin drop toward her chest slightly. A few breathless words were said but not loud enough at all for the flustered Lilyanna to hear. The poor girl would not even understand what the hag was saying anyways. If one could hear the words they would sound soft and sweet, though the magic residing in them was far from sound and gentle. For the words falling from her lips formed a spell that Momma placed on the ones that she held close to her. There were only two who had ever been deemed worth it to place it on in fear that she would surely lose them otherwise. Her faith did not run deep in others. Today this girl held the possibility of getting that spell placed on her as well. She had the potential and Momma had tried very much to bring it out of her: it had been a success by all means. She had stood up for the one she seemed to love so suddenly and that was the spark that she had been hunting for. It was the spark that had deemed her worthy.
Her head raised toward the sky now as she muttered the last bit of words and let them drift off of her aged lips. Her hand placed over her chest, grasping the materials there as a dim light escaped her palm, disappearing into the folds of her clothing. With a heaving sigh, the woman turned back around and eased herself back down the large roots of the oak tree that rested overhead. When she was standing again before the girl, she looked up at her with a face that was much more somber than it had been earlier. Her exhausted eyes stared up into Lilyanna’s lively, bright ones and stayed their unmoving while the choice in her mind was confirmed.
“I was hoping that you would say that,” she admitted simply. Her stare was still humorless and hard. “You can have him, Lilyanna. And he, in turn, may have you. But-” she paused, reaching her right hand into her cloaks. She then pulled something from around her neck over her head. It was not long before she held a necklace before the girl. A necklace of glass pearls and a two carefully placed opals. It was a lovely necklace with quite the history behind it if one ever dared to ask Momma about it. For now, she held it out to the young woman, waiting to see if she would take it or not. “Do not take this if you do not wish to agree to my terms. However, if you do agree… you must place it around your neck. You will not be able to remove it. If you crave to be at my son’s side so badly you will have to pay the price.” She paused, searching the girl’s stare again, looking for her fears, regrets… and looking to see if she was perhaps thinking that she may have just made one. “For as long as you may live you will be bound to my carnival. For as long as you live you will serve me and help look after my work. For as long as you live, Lilyanna.”
----------------------------------------------------------- tagged: lilyanna marie dawson song: damned and divine by tarja words: five hundred sixty notes: dun dun duuuun
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Post by LILYANNA MARIE DAWSON on Mar 12, 2010 11:38:49 GMT -5
WERE I NOT SO WEAK, COULD I EVEN SPEAK? [/color][/font] i warn that you should leave[/size][/font] BEFORE YOU'RE SEEN WITH ME[/font][/color] Lilyanna re-examined what she had just done. Never in her life had she been so vocal toward anyone, let alone a stranger. However, what the old woman was saying just seemed to make her blood boil, calling her unworthy to love Faollen. That wasn’t fair to her; however it was obvious to her now that this old woman had seen her and Faollen together. Surely he saw how happy he made her? Or vice versa? No wonder she was here now. This old lady was willing to let her be with Faollen, but the uncomfortable feeling in Lily made her feel that this wasn’t going to come without a price.
As the old woman stared at her, she swallowed hard, feeling uncomfortable as her eyes stared back into her own. As she mentioned her letting to be with Faollen, joy jumped inside her but it was short lived however. When the woman paused, there was a fear of dread washing over her, and Lily felt like she had just eaten lead. Her eyes watched the old woman reach into the layers of her sashes, searching for something. Lily felt like she was holding her breath, waiting for whatever it was she would pull out. Maybe some kind of weapon, or she was trying to fool her to suddenly attack, but none of that happened. To her surprise, a beautiful necklace was pulled out, the peals seeming to glow and the opals shimmering. As it was offered to her, Lily met the eyes of the old woman. She swallowed hard again, listening to the woman’s terms as her eyes drifted back to the necklace.
Bound to the carnival? Serving her for life? Well, the only good thing was that she had about seventy maybe sixty years before she would keel over and die, but what about the old woman? Surely she wasn’t just going to die. She was from Reena, so there had to be something mystifying or magical about her. What about Faollen? He had told her to stay away from the carnival, and here she was talking to the woman in charge who was willing to take Lily under her wing for an eternity of servitude. What would he say about this? After working so long she would get old at some point. Would he still love her even through the age and wrinkles? Well, he was probably much older than in her years, but he didn’t age and would forever be frozen in his perfection of facial features. However, if he truly loved her he would see past all of that. He would still see the good person that she was inside and what joy she had brought to him. He had to have gotten lonely while working in the carnival.
Love overpowered everything, and made people do rash things. So, her hand reached out touching the necklace before grasping it in her fingers. This was all for Faollen, and if he rejected her for her decision, then it was her own burden to bear. Lily removed the necklace from the woman’s hand before placing it around neck. Pulling her hair out, she sighed quietly, almost feeling as if she just put a large weight on her shoulders and sold her soul to the Devil himself. “I understand. Um… what exactly will I be doing per say? Oh, and you seem to know who I am, but I don’t have any clue who you are.”
tag: momma fortuna - haley words: 577 muse: breaking benjamin - i will not bow notes: this can't be good[/font][/center]
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Post by MOMMA FORTUNA on Mar 17, 2010 1:14:01 GMT -5
FEEL THE SHADOW of my oblivion, hoping mery would show her face on the road to your own perdition in the
COAL BLACKENED RAIN
----------------------------------------------------------- Just as Lily’s fingers reached out to grasp the necklace in the clutch of her hands, a grin begin to finally creep over the elderly woman’s rugged pair of lips. The girl had done just as she had thought that she would do. She had taken the necklace away and placed it around her neck and was now forever bound to the Midnight Carnival and forever entitled to do anything and everything that the old witch commanded her to do. In return for this Momma of course would give her what she desired and that was her sweet demon with the charming words. Momma knew very well that this love could have been deep, but she also knew it was possible that it was only deep for the moment. Thus the necklace, of course. If she fell out of love then she would still be bound to Momma and the carnival. Of course, if her demon grew annoyed or bored with her then Momma would give her up in a heartbeat for Faollen to do as he pleased with her. Maybe eat her heart, or whatever else he could think of. But, of course, she couldn’t let her go. That would be going up against their little promise here now wouldn’t it?
As soon as the necklace touched the flesh around her neck it glowed a soft blue, smoky trails curling around her. It wasn’t long before they disappeared into thin air and everything around them was once again quiet; the magic in the air fading away. The woman dropped her wrinkled hands to her sides, clinging to her crumpled skirt and other wrapped up materials about her waist. She then started back up the roots slowly and surely. She stopped, however, when she heard her new worker speak up from behind her. At first, all she did was grin, shaking her head lightly while letting out a chuckle. “What will you be doing?” she asked in a raspy voice. Before answering that she started her soft laughter again and turned back around to head up toward the crack in the earth that would take her back to the place where she belonged: Reena.
“Oh, my sweet girl, you will be doing whatever it is that I tell you!” she spoke up again with quite a bit of glee echoing in her voice. “You will do anything it is that I tell you to do. That necklace will be sure of that, yes it will, yes it will.” She turned around once again, almost near the top of the wild roots and stared down at Lilyanna. “Lilyanna, my sweet, you will be doing anything I tell you to do.” As if she had not made that point clear enough to her, Momma even took the time to put major emphasis on the word ‘anything’ and ‘I.’ Why would anyone blame her though? She had just gained a new amount of property. Not everyone got to do that with a simple spell. Not everyone got people to do all of their work whenever they wanted. Ah, but of course, Lilyanna would not be able to do absolutely everything that Momma wanted her to do. Then again, that was a good thing. She would not want the girl meddling with magic.
“Now hurry up! You are to come with me immediately!” she called, beckoning the girl back toward Reena. “Hurry along now!”
----------------------------------------------------------- tagged: lilyanna marie dawson song: damned and divine by tarja words: five hundred seventy notes: BWAHAHA SHE IS MOMMA'S
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Post by LILYANNA MARIE DAWSON on Mar 17, 2010 10:36:59 GMT -5
WERE I NOT SO WEAK, COULD I EVEN SPEAK? [/color][/font] i warn that you should leave[/size][/font] BEFORE YOU'RE SEEN WITH ME[/font][/color] Her eyes moved down to the necklace as it began to glow, a bad feeling churning in her stomach. The smoke tendrils tickled her skin and nose as the surrounded her. In her head, Momma’s voice filled her head numerous times as the words from the spell seemed to overlap one another. Each work too hard to hear or understand as the smoke and words disappeared together. Her body felt different, like she was a puppet now who was made to do her bidding. It shouldn’t have been a surprise really, she had just promised to serve Momma Fortuna’s every wish and bound herself to the carnival that she ran. Patiently she waited for a response from the old woman, and when she finally did speak, her stomach churned.
“Oh, my sweet girl, you will be doing whatever it is that I tell you! You will do anything it is that I tell you to do. That necklace will be sure of that, yes it will, yes it will. Lilyanna, my sweet, you will be doing anything that I tell you to do.”
Again her eyes move to necklace, her hand slipping under the gems as she examined it. It felt so heavy now in her hands and around her neck. For a moment she was starting to think that maybe this was a mistake, then again, it seemed inevitable that Momma would come for her. Even if she stayed away, she would come looking for her after Faollen had been drive mad without her. Besides, this way maybe she could be happy, and it wasn’t like she was going to find someone here in Ashling. No one ever looked beyond what they say on the outside. No one really knew just how sweet a person Lily could really be. However at this point, she couldn’t turn back now, bound to the carnival and to serve Momma for as long as she would live. Even if she wanted to disobey the orders, she wouldn’t have a choice now.
“Now hurry up! You are to come with me immediately! Hurry along now!”
The words from Momma brought her back to reality. Moving from her spot she followed in line behind Momma to the tree. For a moment the sight of the tree made her heart wrench, thinking about Faollen who was still in Reena. Swallowing hard, she pushed away the thought of Faollen, knowing that he would have to wait but at some point she would have to talk to Faollen and tell him what’s happened, most likely the truth. That she had taken this burden upon herself and only wanted to be with him.
Stepping to the tree roots, she closed her eyes, waiting patiently for Reena to reappear to her. After a moment, she opened her eyes to see the she was back in Reena. Turning her attention back to Momma, she swallowed before asking, “Um… what will you have me do first? I’m just curious…” Lilyanna had never really worked in a carnival before, or had a job really. Her parents had paid for everything, causing Lilyanna to not work, but she still knew the values of responsibility and management. They made sure that she was going to have some life skills before sending her out into the real world.
tag: momma fortuna - haley words: 552 muse: breaking benjamin - i will not bow notes: was her decision really worth it?[/font][/center]
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